#And then I'd explode them with my mind and cry into the heavens. I don't want to keep explaining why Wukong is flawed lol.

[claynine]

Hi, I was wondering if you could write about Muzan in his final form getting pegged by the reader? And maybe add some pet play if that's okay for you?

Thought I'd do this ask as the first one back lol, hope you enjoy! (Btw I'm working on all the requests I have, dont worry! ♡)

Warning: bondage, pet-play, praise, pegging,

Embarrassed, he felt absolutely embarrassed yet... he couldn't deny that he liked it. The way your hands were squeezing his plump thighs, nails digging into his skin, leaving red stripes along the way. It felt delicious, making his mouth water.

"Tell me, Muzan-sama..." you purred, you're fangs showing as you smirked up at him. You gripped his thighs again, earning a grunt from him. "Are you... my good boy?"

He glared weakly at you, no, no, he's the demon lord. But... the thought of being a good boy, no, of being your good boy... it made his head spin into a mind space were he couldn't do anything else but say...

"Yes..." he said quietly, almost to soft for your liking. "I am..."

You smiled, pulling yourself up. He looked beautiful, his hands tied tightly to the headboard of his king size bed. His white locks creating a halo around his head, his face showing nothing but lust. Truly, a masterpiece.

"Good, I guess then... I should give my good boy a prize, right?" He tensed at your words, feeling suddenly lightheaded at what he saw.

You pulled your kimono off, showing your bear body, and a white, big strap on. He burned holes at you, hating the idea of being fucked by you instead of fucking you. He could easily break free from his restraints, kill you on the spot, yet... he couldn't. Fuck, he couldn't.

You grabbed his marked thighs, spreading them apart. You poked his entrance with the tip of the strap, looking at his reaction. He sucked in a deep breath, brazing himself, he didn't stop you, he couldn't stop you, not when he felt so good just by being weak against you.

"My good boy..." you leaned forward, and bit his exposed neck, he gasped softly as you begin to push inside him.

It was big, too big. Heck, maybe even bigger than his own. And that made it hotter.

"Fuck you." he glared at you as you pulled away from him, smiling. The darkness of his room enhanced the brightness of his red eyes.

"Muzan-sama, that's not nice." You pushed all the way inside him, he chocked on his spit.

"F-fuck-..." you leaned forward again, pushing one of his legs on your shoulder, letting the tip press directly on his prostate. He swore he was seeing stars.

"Especially since I plan on fucking you really good..." he looked down as you pulled out, almost entirely.

"Agh! W-wait... shit-" you thrust inside him fully, watching his stomach bulge at the size of your dick.

He moaned loudly, and you enjoyed the sound. Thrusting inside him roughly, rearranging his guts nicely and thoroughly. Making sure he felt as much pleasure as possible. And fuck he was feeling it.

"Y-yes... fuck yes...!" He moaned, his nails digging into his palm, drawing blood. His body felt hot, as if he was in hell right now, and still he felt like he was in heaven at the same time.

The room was filled with his moans, the sticky clap of your hips meeting his. Your eyes stuck to his face. Big red eyes rolled back, tears forming.

"More, more-" he tried to look at you straight in the eye, so he could demand you to go harder. But his eyes flew to the back of his head with every delicious hit the tip of your strap landed on his prostate.

"So cute, my little master, hm?" He didn't comprehend what you said anymore.

"Cum-... gonna- gonna cum-" he tried to alarm, as his pleasure weld up into a ball, ready to explode at any second, one more thrust, just one-

He looked at you in shock as you stopped. His eyes filled with tears, a weak glare directed your way.

"Do you deserve to cum?" You asked him, you thrusted into him harshly, he moaned out, on the brink of his orgasm. "I don't think you do..."

He felt like crying, even though he already was unbeknownst to him. He moved his hips desperately, looking for any friction.

"Don't- don't stop-" he finally used his force, breaking out of his restraints, but to your surprise he didn't use his freedom to kill you.

He gripped your hips, his tentacles appearing out of nowhere, they wrapped themselves around you.

"Cum, let me cum, I'm a good boy!" His deep, demanding voice now unrecognizable. "Please-"

You gripped his hips tightly, and began moving faster than before. Your lips twisted into a smirk, you kissed him, swallowing his moans.

Muzan on the other hand was crying. He felt too good, his senses turned to mush, electricity flowing through his body. He gripped the sheets, tearing holes in them. You pulled away letting his screams of pleasure consume the room.

"Cumming, Cumming, fuuuck-" his trapped your body as he came, biting your shoulder, you moaned in pain.

His stomach was stained white with his cum, he continued to twitch as you pulled out slowly. His eyes closed shamely as his cheeks turned pink. How was he going to explain this...?

Obviously the uppermoons heard, as the next day he clearly walked funny. And even though all the demons were quiet, a certain demon with rainbow eyes couldn't hold his giggles.

Don't copy.

Property of clay9z.

[imminent-danger-came]

Hi again! Listen, if we indeed get the MK vs SWK fight you've been predicting, I want it to be CATHARTIC. I want both parties fighting to show the RAWEST, UGLIEST, MOST FUCKED UP parts of themselves to each other without holding back, and embrace those parts in one another wholeheartedly just as much at the end. And I don't want this fight to be at the end of the show, no, I want it to be inn the midle of the show run, not even just a few episodes spare afterwards but several seasons, to see them work on the ruined previous framework and build on it as a sturdier, more stable foundation, and I want to see it unfold and develop in the show. I want to see them fight together with that new bond against the big boss or whatever passes as it. I think what I'm trying to say is Eldritch!MK better not be the last boss, and that even in a fight with out-of-control MK, SWK still unconsciously holds back even if he doesn’t want to. Also for Wukong to show his OG power in its full glory at the end against the final boss who is hopefully not Eldritch MK. You may disagree with some of my points but we can agree to disagree. Eat fruits!

DUDE. YES.

In my mind I've never thought of Eldritch!MK as the final big bad, legitimately. Which now I realize that's kinda silly, because the show could go that direction, but in my mind MK would be pushed further down a path of chaos by being manipulated by our new antagonist. This isn't something he would want ("This isn't what I wanted!" for the sweet sweet Azure parallel), but something he'd be pushed into—whether through manipulation, or past memories, or some reveal or WHATEVER it is that pushes him to the brink.

Ultimately however, MK has to eventually defy his fate and use his powers to leave the world "better than he found it"—he has to come to terms with the fact that he'll hurt people, and people will hurt him, and that's how life works. He ultimately has to accept himself. Being the "final boss" of the show would leave very little time for MK to truly learn to love himself and learn who he truly is, which is why I think it probably won't happen. Maybe he'd be the final boss of a season—but certainly not the show as a whole.

But a cathartic and messy Wukong and MK fight? That's something I am hoping we get, and think we definitely have the potential to get! Here's a short list of people who have chewed Wukong out thus far:

Mei (3x10)

Macaque (4x11)

Curse MK (4x07)

Azure (4x13)

Pigsy (2x10)

Ne Zha (3x01, 3x10)

Now, with how often it's brought up the ways in which Wukong has failed MK...don't you think MK should have a turn here? MK gets close in 2x07, but there he's yelling at Macaque disguised as Wukong, so obviously that doesn't count. We are long overdue for MK himself laying out all of the hurt and anger he's been holding onto for 4 seasons—that itself needs to happen, whether it's through a physical fight or not.

And after finally, EVERYTHING is out in the open, they can build their relationship stronger than it was before. I, like you, really do hope Wukong and MK (or even MK and Mei tbh) fight together against our last big bad. Honestly watching them fight together in 4x13 was so fulfilling, seeing them bounce off one another and work together just like MK always wanted.

However, I am also ready for them to tear each other apart (MK for SWK literally, but SWK for MK probably metaphorically lol) and then build each other back up, both of them fully accepting each other, flaws and all. Just because you love each other doesn't mean you won't hurt one another, you know? Just because you love someone doesn't mean they're not flawed. And in some ways, I think both Sun Wukong and MK need to accept that fact about each other. Like, this confrontation needs to be MESSY and RAW, and I think a climatic anime battle is a great way to do that (4x13 MK V Azure fight proving my point perfectly, or honestly even something like Samadhi Fire Mei in 3x10).

But those are just my thoughts!

[heaven-meets-hell]

I wish I could claim ideas good thing I can

Poses like a madman. Smirks. Looks at audience. Explodes. Guys I'm not sane about my OCS and bc this isn't twitter j can talk about them and everyone will have to put up with my brain rot for them. Anyways 💔💔💔 Possession except it's literal 🫶🫶🫶 if my friend sees this, no you don't, don't show this to the GC or I will pray for your downfall ^_^ !!! (Joking) So uesh!! I.got these 2 idiot demon x angel shit going on where it's like holy shit why the FUCK DO I HAVE TO TEAM UP WITH THEM I'D RATHER DIE And then they grow close to each other with this weird fucking watcher thing being their 3rd wheel. So tldr angel and demon gotta team up with each other and this weird eyeball thing to stop ANOTHER angel from trying to become god and kill earth Anyways as time goes on the angel DIES/(sorta dies?? He doesn't DIE but he isn't alive either-) in combat trying to kill the fake god bc they had everything planned but shit hit the fan real fast because then the angel "DIES" while the demon is trying to save their friend/watcher/eyeball thingYadda yadda I'll post the characters later they're gay af but who cares Anyways I was like oh shit possessions but the meaning is literal So when demons in "my world" / "their world"(???) Feel heavy emotions like heart break, love sickness, anger,

frustration etc etc they start to lose parts of themselves to their primal urges There's a big eye that usually shows how much time they have left So big eye closed = good Big eye open = NOT good / very bad because it leaks corruption into the minds of demons and it makes it harder to control themselves so they give into temptation easily SO the reason why THAT exists is because the silly deuteragonist/second main character aka the demon starts to slowly go crazy bc he thinks the angel is dead/gone/ no longer exists, not as a person or even a thing So As I said before the angel isn't entirely dead or alive either bc (guys I'm crazy I insane) the god/angel, was a weeping angel we all know those creepy fuckers who if you look away from snap your neck into bits anyways no Thisguy is different bc he just cries and in heaven weeping angels are usually good bc they have healing properties but this angels tears were BAD because of some shit and he was like bro why was I Bron wrong hey god FUC YO- and God was like bro wtf what did I do you're born just the way you are, in my eyes, you are perfect why are you so ANGRY bout being lie everyone else and he's like that's it BEGONE. And kicks the weeping angel out for cursing him out at heavens gates Whatever whatevev anyways our main character angel is dying slowly because he's CRYING and if he stops CRYING he starts DYING so he has to KEEP CRYING while he's DEAD So when he wakes up he's like oh hey guys how's everything but the demon guy had already undergone so much corruption to the point his brain literally has a fear of losing the angel again so he doesn't let the angel out of his sight anymore/ clings onto the angel way too much and literally screams and yells when anyone gets too close, I'ma make a new post to explain this possession shit guys I'm CRAZY

[pinkykitten]

are you bored yet?

synopsis: with uncertainties in life you cant say for certain if you and fred being together is a good thing or bad thing. so many things are running through your mind as you spend watching the sunset with the love of your life, fred weasley. 

pairing: fred weasley x female! reader (i swear im like obsessed w him i need therapy fr) words: 1,503 genre: fluff omg so much, romance, song based, writing challenge, one-shot

a/n: so this is based on the song are you bored yet by wallows. and this is for the writing challenge of @lunalovecroft​. i had so much fun writing this and as u can tell im currently in a fred spiral and its out of control but idc tbh. he is so beautiful and yes he is invading my dreams every night. enjoy yall and hope u like also thnx for liking my recent fred drabble so much it means a lot to me and requests are open! ps i also tried to incorporate the words and meaning of the songs lyrics to the story hope that makes sense. 

The ocean waves crashed against the soft, cool sand. It would simmer and relax, but then the pent up frustration mixed with wind would allow it to meet and kiss the earth. 

The future always scared you. Somedays you looked forward to it and other days just the unknown was filled with anxiety. It was the feeling of not being able to control loss and love, happiness and sadness. You would find yourself some nights thinking about it, almost losing your mind. 

The sun was setting so peacefully and beautifully. It was something so simple yet something so divine and of such importance. You had faith in the sun and space. Yes, everything around you may be changing and things might be going wrong but one thing was for certain was that the sun was going to rise and set every day, when the sun rises that will be your new chance at starting anew. 

It was so peaceful. The smell of sea was so inviting and comforting. What was more comforting was how Fred let your head rest against his chest. The feeling of worn out cotton against your cheek, as you heard his heart beat almost at the same rhythm as yours. It was if you two were in perfect sync. The faint smell of cologne that Fred always used to try to impress you made you feel at home, along with a small smell of something unknown to you but only Fred had that smell. Maybe it was gingers own scent. 

You sighed, relaxing. 

“So, love, what do you think about the muggle world?” Fred asked, wiggling his brows like he was the man.

You looked up at his freckled face, from his chest, giggling, “You know I’ve been here before.”

Fred laid back down and enjoyed the moment with you. But something was eating you up inside. It was starting to bug you that everyone had a someone. Ron to Hermione. Harry to Ginny. You were starting to feel left behind in the crowd. Again with the uncertainty. Everyone was with their soulmate and you felt lonely. 

You didn’t realize Fred was eyeing you this whole time you had this battle in your head. He could tell something was off. “What’s wrong?”

You very much disliked confrontation so you pretended to fall asleep. 

“I saw you were awake Y/N,” Fred sat up. He was patiently, quietly waiting for your answer. 

You sat up, kicking your feet against the peak you two were sitting on. The warmness from the sun making you smile just a bit. “I wish we didn’t have to leave. That we could sit here for the rest of our lives.”

Fred chuckled, scooting closer to you and resting his head against your shoulder. Something sparked within you at the contact. You could feel his breath on your neck, feeling the hair stand up on its own. You leaned your head against his and sighed once again. 

“I wish I could sit here with you forever too sweetheart. But unfortunately we’re really not supposed to be here and I bet some muggles would find us and we’d be toast.” Fred kissed your knuckles. 

You distanced yourself away from him, worrying Fred with wide eyes. You couldn’t bear the physical connection you two had and not have something from it. Yes, you and Fred were friends but you were wanting more than that. You yearned for more than that. “There is just so much on my mind,” you said quietly. You can tell you hurt Fred’s feelings but you needed to know what Fred was doing to you. Why did he kiss your hands? Why did he want to be with you daily? You needed support, something stable in your life. 

“Feels like I've known you my whole life I can see right through your lies,” Fred was worried seeing you so distant. 

He was right. He knew you in and out. He knew when you were okay and when you were not. You leaned back, “I like this guy and I’m afraid he doesn’t like me.”

“That’s bonkers! Who wouldn’t like you Y/N?” Fred tried not to grit his teeth at his jealousy. This man was so lucky. 

“I’m afraid Fred. I don’t know if he’ll feel the same way and when we get older will he still feel the same way about me? There is so much to think about. What if something happens to him? I would fall apart, I would be living in fear and paranoia.” You clenched your fists. 

“Wow, you do really love this man?”

You huffed as you looked into Fred’s eyes for a split second, hoping he would get the hint. “I do, I really do.”

Fred was silent. He was playing with his fingers. He usually had always something to say, seeing him like this was odd. 

“If you could tell me how you're feeling,” you held Fred’s hand. 

“I don't know where we're going But I'd like to be by your side,” Fred blurted out. You gasped as you took your hands away and held onto to your skirt, holding in your breath. “I can’t go on living knowing I didn’t at least try to stop you from being with that other guy. I know you love him Y/N but I love you. I can’t do this anymore. Kiss only your cheek when I want to kiss your lips so bad. I can’t make believe that every time you hold my hand I don’t feel a spark. Or when you come to my room every time you have a nightmare. When we cuddle, how I carry you on my back. I can’t make believe that those things don’t affect me. I can’t keep putting this wall between us and making believe we’re not something worth fighting for. Tell you the truth baby, I’m smitten with you. I’m so madly in love with you.”

Your lips trembled as tears fell down your cheeks. Fred couldn’t help himself and also found himself emotional, wiping his tears with his jumper sleeve. Nobody knew what to do. “Why are you crying love?” Fred whispered. 

“Because the man that I was referring to and talking about was you Fred,” you said with tear soaked lips. The wind carried your tears away. “I love you Fred Weasley.”

You both were knew in this territory of love. Love that you would sacrifice everything and risk more. Love that was unconditional. It was awkward the air funnily. 

“So are we more than friends then? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” Fred was so shy. You both just confessed your loves for each other, nobody knew what to do. You both were just friends for so long. 

“When we get old, will we regret this?” You asked, bashfully. 

“I will never in my whole existence ever regret meeting you and being your love. No matter what tough trials come, I know I will always be by your side.”

“I will forever love you Fred. There is not one person on this world I love more than you. I’m so grateful I was sent to Hogwarts because you’re my favorite person.” You gave a small, genuine smile. “Maybe we'd get through this undefeated Holding on for so long.”

In one swift moment, Fred’s lips came crashing down against yours. It was with such passion and fire. Like Fred was preparing his whole life for this one spectacular moment. His lips moved against your and you couldn’t help but deepen the kiss by running your fingers through his orange locks and pushing him more towards you. You wanted everything he got. 

Fred pushed you back and wrapped his warm hands on the back of your neck. Your hands fell to his collar and you clutched onto it with all your might. You felt you might explode. Fred went from your lips to smothering you in kisses all over your face. You heard his laugh and saw his toothy smile but it was better because his freckled covered cheeks were such a cute pink. He was blushing the whole time. Fred kissed your nose and you and him laughed together, simply in love. He leaned his head against you for one moment and leaned back in his spot on the cliff. 

You were out of breath and stunned. Did that just happen? You were so happy it did. You sat there surprised by the amazing kiss, touching your lips and feeling them sting a little from the contact. It was incredible. The best sensation of your life. 

Fred saw you the whole time, smirking. He coughed to get your attention and your eyes traveled up to see the most amazing view. He was leaning back, his lean neck resting back against his shoulders as his adams apple bobbed. But what got you choked up was his lips were plump and wet from your twos make out session. His skin was flawless with his freckles and his eyes were bright and light from the sunsetting. The sun’s rays hit his face just perfectly to make him look like a prince. Like he came down from heaven. You were so dumbfounded at how a man could look this beautiful and handsome. 

Fred smirked as he bit his lip, winking, wanting to tease you, “I don’t know if you wanna get out of here or maybe go get a bite together as I’m your new boyfriend. I mean 'Cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset But I can't help from asking, Are you bored yet?"

a/n: ive been listening to this song on repeat and know its in my head and i just want to make an edit of fred for this song cuz he is so bf material. thnx for all the love and support stay safe guys and tysm. 

[peanutxparker]

A (very long) list of all of my favorite AJJ lyrics because why not

Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns (2005)

“Well my great grand-dad he died of cancer, from smoking too many cigarettes. But I must confess that he did quite profess to being the coolest motherfucker I ever met.”

“And cocaine is essentially vegan and they don't give a fuck anyway.”

“And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.”

“So fuck white people! (fuck white people!)”

“Heaven is a special place in hell where you can watch the people you hate get hurt.”

“You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming ‘cause I'm gonna take your life. You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming and I'm sad you won't be my wife.”

“What makes you think you can be so pretty? And what makes you think you can be so great? And what makes you think you can be so intelligent? And what makes you think you can be so far away?”

“What makes you think you can be so wonderful? And what makes you think you can be so keen? And what makes me think I can be so hurtful? And what makes me think I can be so mean?”

“Sometimes I feel like a cigarette, I'm wrapped in paper and I'm suffocating to death.”

“I don't want to be a cigarette anymore. I'll go to hell in my self death all day and night, so please just put me out.”

People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World (2007)

“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best”

“I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm as timid as a mouse. I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome. I'm not a courageous man. I don't have any big lasting plans. I'm too cowardly to take a stand, I want to keep my nose clean. And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this and it's sad to know that there's no honest way out. In this life we lead, we could conquer everything if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning.”

“And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me, and I give a finger to my step-father for beating me, and I give props to myself for achieving, and god damn I’m glad that I survived, and god damn I’m surprised that I survived.”

“So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection of a coward you and I both hate very much and then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat and I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.”

“If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven, might go to heaven. But probably not.”

“Just happy times and half assed rhymes and mimes because mimes are dears, but most of all I want no more tears.”

“No more racism. No more discrimination. No more fat dumb fucks keeping people out of our nation.”

“We’re all one big band across this land and we should sing in tune. Let us grow the balls to break the walls, we’ve got to do it soon.”

“And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don’t burn to the ground.”

“First we were babies, we're birthing and dying. Then we were children, we're playing and crying. And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking. But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing.”

“And your manic depression, it comes and it goes. Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts and you're in fight or flight mode.”

“How's the world so small when the world is so large? And what made the world? Could I please speak to who's in charge? Everything is real but it's also just as fake. From your daughter's birthday party to your grandmother's wake.”

“I've tried to know which words to sing so many times. I tried to know which chord to play and I tried to make it rhyme. And I tried to find the key that all good songs are in. And I tried to find that notes to make that great, resounding din.”

“There's someone in your head waiting to fucking strangle you.”

“I've got essays, I've got finals due. I have got lots and lots of problems.”

“Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you're having. Be kind to those you love and be kind to those you don't but for God's sake you gotta be kind.”

Can’t Maintain (2009)

“I wanna pick up the pieces and plant them in the ground. When a tree grows there I want to chop that tree down. Build it into a boat and float it in a lake. And with dynamite I will explode the thing that makes me make mistakes.”

“Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak. Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heartbeat. Anyway…”

“I wanna tear out my heart and give it away to a person more deserving one day. If all I see is the worst in everything that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get.”

“And people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware.”

“I get bronchitis twice a year at least. My lungs aren't the way they should be. And I smoke more than a mother fuckin chimney. I declare war on my body.”

“You will cough up crows that peck my eyes and I will do nothing but go blind.”

“We could live there together or I'll live alone, less happy but I'll live... unfortunately.”

“And no one will know how I truly feel ‘cause I can no longer differentiate between what is fake and what is real. I don't know how I feel.”

“And I will always appreciate bad days like this because they grant me a point of reference in regards to my happiness.”

“If the bridge that I was driving over collapsed while I was driving over it that may not be such a bad thing. I would finally meet my maker, I could meet the great creator, and I'd punch him for teaching me how to sing.”

“Don't know if I believe in god but sometimes I pray because the way I was raised keeps me afraid.”

“I hope I can forgive me for having the nerve to exist. I hope someone can help me make some sense of this.”

“Sense and sensibility and peaceful productivity, a pretty girl with broken wings is all that I desire. But there's so much hostility in all the things surrounding me. The awful glow of enmity is trying to stop my shine. So I try to look inwardly at all the things inside of me but sodomy and buggery keep bubbling to the top.”

“I met you once over the phone, you sounded sad and you seemed alone. You left me but I never left you. I never had the chance to.”

“If you spend all your heart on something that has died you are not alive and that can't be your life.”

Knife Man (2011)

“There's no one to blame. People are just fucking mean.”

“So if I see a penny on the ground, I leave it alone or fucking flip it. I'm a straight white male in America. I've got all the luck I need.”

“I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.”

“You were dead by the time that I had found you. Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed. So I carried you west to the sea so I could wash you. Your body felt just like a back pack.”

“I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist. Sorry guys, here's a solo.”

“Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest. These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling about this and I wanna go away for a while.”

“I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I'm sick of songs about the summer.”

“When you have no one, you are no one. Like I said, I used to work at the people pound. All these no ones clumped together, just like a human lost and found. If they left them all be someones there wouldn't be enough to go around. It's better for us all us if there are no ones. And I knew a lot of no ones round that time. They used to all be someones until something took their life and all their someones disappeared while they're stuck there waiting in a line. And for them now, no one seems to have the time.”

“They say ambition is an enemy of weakness and greatness is an enemy of fame.When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song, I think of what my mentor used to say… “Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song. Cus they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined. Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs. If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.””

“Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow and sorrow is the best friend of my drink. Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.”

“And the troubles in my heart need to get let out. And the troubles in my heart need to escape. And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery and God knows that I never learned to paint. So every now and then, I'll sing sad songs. Cus it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean. And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air. Cus I'm happy that you're happier than me.”

“So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.”

“You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams but hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping.”

“You don't have it any better and you don't have it any worse. You're an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer and that’s a huge bummer.”

“I'm afraid of the way I live my life. I'm afraid of the way I don't. I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't. I'm afraid of God. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave. I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore. I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind. I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks. I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.”

“It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night. So I bought a knife. I am a knife.”

Rompilation (2012)

“I used to be a spiderman, I used to be a cowboy from hell, but not anymore. Now I'm just a clam and I live inside this shell inside this shell I am. God damn I hate my brain.”

“I'll dip my brain in medicine so that you can stand to be with me.”

“Give me your tired, give me your tired, give me your poor. When our government acts like this, I wonder what World War II was for and the rest of the country hates us more and more. Lady Liberty is not a whore.”

“This is not a protest, it's a tortoise slowly pushing through a race. I hope the tortoise keeps its patience while the hare continues to pepper-spray its face.”

“There is no enemy, there's only people that also love their families and they're scared that they won't have enough long after they are deceased. But how much money do they need? Love turns into fear, and fear turns into greed. There is no enemy, there's only dummies that also love their families.”

“And this is not a phase, it's just a matter of time, with diligence and peacefulness, you will reach them and you will change their minds. If you stay there long enough, they'll start to see you.”

“And when you pushed my face in shit how could that have made you feel like a man or like a monster. It's your fault that I can't tell the difference.”

“In the evening I try songwriting. I'm self loathing, but I love singing. I'll try escaping these evil feelings but they keep coming, they keep coming…”

“So the baby's gonna have a daddy, that's wonderful news. He won't be the greatest parent but neither will you! Gotta get out while you can, otherwise you're screwed. Your legs are broken and your eyes are black and blue.”

“And smoking is like hiring a hitman for five dollars a day, and as cool as that is, I don't wanna keep dying this way.”

Christmas Island (2014)

“Shoot him again ‘cause I can see his soul dancing.”

“If you give it to me I’ll give it back much harder. If you treat me like a son, then I’ll treat you like a daughter. Everyone has a future, everyone has a soul, everyone has a heart, they have a mind, they have control.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he has something the prove because he does. He sleeps a couple hours in the morning, hates the morning when he wakes up.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he wants to make a friend, but he does not.”

“Getting naked and playing with guns. There's a gerbil in the microwave, a baseball bat in everyone. Sharing kisses and building a bomb. We'll set it off like Microsoft in '94.”

“McDonald's PlayPlace before the Xbox, cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall, covered in knives, touching God, burning shit. We'll make a wish and take a trip to Future Town like our daddy did.”

“Have you ever wanted to be, have you ever wanted to see someone better in the mirror? Have you ever wanted to go, have you ever wanted to know somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner. I bet you got something beautiful in mind.”

“I can’t handle astounding works of beauty. I think I like my pretty pretty ugly but the beautiful soul I witnessed in that movie was an entirely different kind of overwhelming. It was a dog that won’t stop barking. Like a cut that never stops bleeding. Arizona sunsets in the early evening. Or a grown man inconsolably weeping.”

“I am the Kool-Aid stains on the mouth of a kid whose name is most likely Cody. He had a juice box for breakfast and he carries a stick that he most likely found in the alley. Cody doesn't have friends and his parents hate each other and he wants to find a better way to love his family and after school he hangs out in the abandoned house behind the Arby's.”

The Bible 2 (2016)

“Oh, I love you cause I love you cause I can.”

“On your last night at Saint Mary's you were way too intoxicated to breathe. So I used your ribs as ladders and I climbed up on your chest and I jumped up and down just like a trampoline.”

“Confused and rude. Such a special kind of way to be cruel.”

“If I were one of the things, I'd be american garbage. The most beautiful thing. The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen.”

“No more shame, no more fear, no more dread.”

“And if you don't want to feel the feeling, no one should ever make you feel the feeling.”

“I thought I saw you before I knew who you were.”

“I just wanted to rage but all I got was tired”

“I showed him all the books that I was raised on. Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies.”

“And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector, broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture. His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future. His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures and I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost when I learned about the tragedy of all of us. I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us.”

Good Luck Everybody (2019)

“If you don't give it to them they'll starve to death and that's alright.”

“I've got the normalization blues, this isn't normal, this isn't good.”

“I'm detached and I'm distracted, all keyed up but unproductive, vacillating between being all excited and disgusted and then dozing lackadaisically in this bubble where I've made my mental home. Connection's more important now than it ever was, but I'd rather be alone.”

“And when we talk about the president, we're either pissed off or we're giggling about an atrocity he's committing or some stupid shit he's tweeting. He's a symptom and a weapon of the evil men who really run the show. The ones who melt down human beings into money like a cruel Sorcerer's Stone.”

“This is the golden age of dickotry, probably the last golden age of anything, and the ugliest word in the English language is anthropocene. Good luck, everybody. Good luck.”

“But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world. Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert.”

“I'm sorry that you have to have a body, filled with infection, one hundred scabs singing in unison, eyes and hands, sometimes bullets, uninvited, passing through us.”

“Oh to be awake for such a shitty dream. A bullet in the head of every decent thing.”

“The lake of dead black children that America created is getting fuller than the founding Fathers even wanted. The ghost of great America was underestimated and now it rages like a cold sore on the lip of this dumb nation. Again we've slipped inside a pit of absolute despair. That's where we live.”

“Rewarding our worst cruelty, they destroyed our shared reality, and now they upsell us our dignity like some fucked VIP package.”

“There is no absolute, these days there's no such thing as truth and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“I'm a burnout and a fool, oblivious to all I do. I move my lips when I read and breathe with my mouth open, wide open. Timid, meek, and cruel, this is the best that I can do. I need to speak my truth, yet here I'm broken wide, wide open. My resentment, big and strong, and all the things that I can't change. They'll buckle me beneath the weight. I will drive myself insane with all the things that I can't change. I hate all the things that I can't change.”

“You're a loudmouth and a tool, and as it turns out I am too, and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“Because I know that you know what I need more than me and I know that you need me more than that.”

“For all the pussies you grab and the children you lock up in prison, for all the rights you roll back and your constant stream of racism, for all the poison you drip in my ear, for all your ugly American fear. I wrote you this beautiful song called Psychic Warfare.”

“I hate you with all of my heart. I hate you with all of my art.”

“I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me, and now I am colder than I used to be. I live in a fortress the shape of my body, and now there's a coldness, and it's shaped like me. Now I don't suffer any more bullshit gladly. Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019 and you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020 or whenever this album's released.”

[thewritepages]

The Diary of the Older Collegiate (#TheFreshman Series) (2)

Synopsis : Annabelle Green is somewhat in a situation no thirty year woman would want to find herself in : (Un) Happily divorced, childless and with a job worth peanuts and migraine. The downward spiral of her life doesn't seem to end anytime soon until her sister reminds her of her most cherished dream.

College.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

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MAY 10, 2019

3.30 A.M.

----------------------------------------------------

Maybe Kat was right- A few days away has done me good.

I've actually stopped bawling every ten minutes. I have even managed to sleep for five hours straight last night, which is a significant improvement.

My family members quickly realized that I had to no intention to talk about the disastrous interview or about my estranged husband. Instead, they've tried distracting me with all sorts of things-

Mum: "Anna, darling, come here and help us with the gardening."

Me: "Who's the other person in the 'we'?"

Kat: (appearing out of nowhere) "That would be me."

Me: "Okay, fine. Wait...Mum. Didn't you complain of knee pain? You may have arthritis! You need to stop exerting yourself."

Mum: "Oh, Anna, really, it isn't so bad-"

Me: "And you, Kat, what do you think you're doing here? Without GLOVES?? You may develop toxoplasmosis! Do you know how toxic-"

Kat: (rolling her eyes) "Oh, now enough already Miss Know-It-All. I was going to wear them! Would you please-"

Me: "On second thoughts, gloves won't suffice. According to Youronlinegynac.com, You have to make sure you wear long sleeve blouses, long trousers, rain boots and a mask, for good measure."

Mum: "Anna-"

Me: "Plus, you're carrying twins for heaven's sake. Don't you ever read pregnancy articles? You must give your back as much rest as possible-"

Kat: "I JUST GOT OUT OF BED-"

Me: "Back to you, Mum. The morning sun is not very good for your aging skin. I think-"

Kat: "You know what, Anna? Never mind about us. You should probably go back to sleep."

Jeez, so much for being considerate.

So, yeah. That's what I've been the entire week – Eat, Read and Watch Movies. Sometimes, Kat pops in to chat but storms away ten minutes later claiming that my "Ridiculous Internet Articles" exasperates her. I completely fail to understand why she gets so agitated about it. The other day when I told her all about Kim K's regime for fighting flabby abdomen and about her extremely shapely hips despite having four kids, all she did was glare at me for a full minute and then stomps away.

Must be the hormones.

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MAY 11, 2019

3.30 A.M.

----------------------------------------------------

IT'S DEFINITELY THE HORMONES.

I MEAN, HOW COULD SHE - I WOULD NEVER – IT'S JUST IMPOSSIBLE –

Calm down, Anna. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

Okay... let's just rewind all that.

About two hours ago, I was just roaming around the house, munching on Pop Tarts, having nothing else to do with sleep permanently erased from my mind. Passing through the corridor, I suddenly spotted the narrow staircase leading up to the attic.

Deciding to go check out the old stuff stashed up there, I climbed up the rickety staircase, opening up the dusty wooden door. As I rifled through old furniture and documents, a familiar cardboard box caught my eye. It was labeled "ANNA'S STUFF. DO NOT TOUCH." In my old scrawly handwriting. As my gaze lingers on the label, memories seep into my mind. Why did I skip college? Why did I leave town? Why did I sacrifice everything...for him?

With shaky hands, I open the box.

The box was filled with dozens of college applications, unfinished application essays and my high school books. I touched the frayed sheets, decaying with years, wondering how life would have been, if I had just taken the chance.

"Anna! What happened? " Kat dropped down beside me, breathing heavily.

"Kat! Why did you come up here? The latest article in the Mom-to-be e-magazine says that –"

"Oh, will you just stop with your goddamn articles and tell me what the hell is wrong? Why are you crying?" Her gaze shifted to the box.

"What's in that?"

I quickly closed the lid. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just being my usual pathetic self, I guess." I wiped my cheeks hastily.

"Aw. C'mere, Annie." She opens her arms wide, offering comfort. I accepted it gratefully.

"Okay. Now tell me what's wrong."

Despite my state of weakness, I still found the strength to roll my eyes at her. "Really? You want me to tell you the messy details of my marriage, once again?"

"Oh lord, not that. I'm sick of hearing your big, sad story." I let out a sad chuckle. "The other reason for your misery. There's something else, I know it."

I sniffed. "How do you 'know'? "

"I just...know."

"Jeez, and I thought I was the weird one."

She broke away from the embrace and looked at me right in the eye.

"Now, will you stop deflecting the topic and tell me what the hell is wrong with you?"

I looked here and there for some distraction. A few moments later, I realized that I was trapped.

"It's nothing, really."

"I'll be the judge of that." She smiled kindly at me.

And that was it. I began to bawl like a two year old.

"I wish I never skipped college. I wish I never gave up on my dream. I wish I'd waited like you d-did. "I swallow the huge lump in my throat. "And you know what's the worst part? I gave up everything, for that...that bastard!" I threw my face in my lap, muffling my high decibel cry.

Kat, on the other hand, waits patiently. Ten minutes later, I sit up straight, staring at her with bloodshot eyes.

"So...no words of comfort or consolation?"

"Why is there a need for that when the solution is right in front of you?"

"What do you mean?"

Her face grows impatient. "You sound like you're eighty and lying on your deathbed or something. You have so much of life ahead of you, so many opportunities waiting for you."

I shake my head, still not getting the point.

All of the sudden, she grabs my face tightly and looks at me with happiness glimmering in her eyes.

"You wanted to attend college, right? Get a degree? Discover your talents? This is the moment, Anna! You can finally live your dream!"

I stare at her for a solid minute. And then I stare at her some more.

"Well?" she inquires.

"Me? Attend college? Now?"

She nods vigorously. "This is your chance, Anna. What's there to stop you?"

I blink. She blinks.

Suddenly, I explode into a full-fledged, insane laughter. I laugh and I laugh, till my cheeks hurt.

Kat waits again, calmly as ever. She appraises me grimly. "If you're done with the schizophrenic behavior, would you be kind enough to tell me what you found so funny about what I said?"

"What's funny about it? Seriously? I'll tell you what's funny." I stand in front of her. "Look at me. I'm a thirty year old divorced, childless woman with nothing to look forward to. I've spent my entire life listening to complaints, be it from my boss in office or from my husband back home. Now that my darling husband has got rid of me, I have to work extra shifts to pay the rent, the bills, everything."

"So what, Anna? This is what you've always wanted to do. You are an intelligent, young"- I snorted-"independent woman, as far as I've seen you. You deserve a fun college experience, even if you think you're twelve years late for it."

"Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Kat, but I really am twelve years too late to apply. And anyway, which college will be willing to take me in?"

"Any college would be lucky to have you, Annabelle Green. Just you wait and watch." She strides out of the attic, determined and excited.

Oh, well. Now that I think of it, all of this was probably a part of the mood swings she goes through. I bet she'll forget all of this by breakfast time.

Yeah, nothing to worry about.

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A/N :

Hi there, thank you for taking the time to read my new diary styled new ChickLit series:

"The Diaries of an Older Collegiate"(#TheFreshman).

If this chapter ignited an interest for this series, please let me know by reblogging or sending me a message. It helps a lot and keeps me motivated. Till then stay healthy :)

Love and Kisses,

D <3

[horrificallyelisbaaron]

He kindly stopped for me –

I was a morbid child in third grade. I wrote a poem, sincerely wondering whether I would go to heaven, hell, or worse -- to nowhere at all. 

I was eight and trying hard as I could to be no one anymore. I'd be buried under the ground. I could picture myself looking up through the lid of my casket at the black skirts, slacks, and shoes of mourners as they wept on the perimeter of vivid grass around my hole. I could feel myself trying to raise my arms against the first shovelfuls of dirt, but I couldn't move because I was dead. 

I wouldn't have eyes that saw or a mind that thought. And time would go on without me, as the last line of the poem said. 

This bothered me very much. When you're eight, the idea of total annihilation is akin to bashing your head against a brick wall. It hurts quite a bit, might cause long-lasting damage, and doesn't make much sense to you or anyone else. 

***

Two years ago, my cat died. It didn't go well. I saw she was tired, vomiting, and a bit thin so we went to the emergency vet. They scanned her and told me that every part of her nine-year-old body contained lymphoma. It was incurable. 

The most I could do was take her home with steroids where she'd hold out, painfully, for a bit longer before suddenly dying. I would wake up and she would have crept into a quiet corner and given up and I would have to go on living there, passing by her death-place daily. Would I pick up her stiffening body and put it in her carrier to be brought to a crematorium? 

(I'm crying now, those first prickly tears that stab while the lump in my throat I must swallow emerges. It has been two years and I can't stop crying.)

Instead, I told the vet I'd opt for euthanasia and then I began to sob. Until I knew she would die, I would not let myself cry or crack. 

They took her away from me, to attach the needles and tubes that would give her the chemicals it takes to kill my precious cat. I had no idea what to do in the room without her. I wanted her back in my arms, but that would mean it was time, so I wept and I sat on the floor and I waited.

She came back to me so unhappy. They had put a cast on her front leg to cover the needles and tubes but she hated it. The vet passed her to me and I tried to rest her on my shoulder and chest as I always had. I tried to calm her, but she was so scared, and I hated myself so I told the vet to do it. 

The first push of liquid was meant to relax her, but she turned into a puddle of skin without muscle and I couldn't believe she was still alive. 

What had I done? What had I done?

She was already gone. The second push was to stop her tiny heart, and I'm weeping aloud now because it fucking hurt and it still hurts and will it ever stop hurting? There was a moment. The vet listened to her chest sounds and then stepped away.

I had to leave her on the table in the examination room. Listen to me, I had to leave her body there to be taken away and burned.

***

Somewhere in the midst of my detached anguish, between sleeping and staring at walls and trying to forget I'm a monster, a monster, a soulless thing that killed my baby-cat, I remembered The Ritual. 

I don't remember if I watched it Before or After -- all moments existed in one of the two places -- but I was crying again. How many days in a row did I cry? When did I miss a day, become a traitor? 

I wailed at my ceiling. Someone had stitched me together, but I was coming loose and hands were ripping me open on either side of my ribcage. They wouldn't stop. I didn't want them to stop. 

I screamed and was glad the neighbors didn't give two fucks about me because no one ever checked that I was okay. I didn't want to explain it. 

In The Ritual, Luke is tormented by a memory: he goes with a friend (Rob) to buy booze. They talk and look at a wall of bottles, turn and see a woman on the floor with a black eye. Thieves explode out of the back room. Don't fucking move. Don't fucking move, they say. Luke hides behind an end cap and Rob sees him do it. 

Rob stays in the aisle, gives his wallet over, his watch. Luke crouches, holding a bottle upside-down, like a cudgel. The thief demands Rob's ring. He won't give it to them. It's his wedding ring. We don't give a fuck! the thief says. Rob refuses. The thieves start to argue. 

Luke doesn't move. He looks down the aisle, meets Rob's eye, looks away. One of the thieves slashes at Rob's face with a long knife and he falls. Again Luke looks. Again Rob meets his eye. Again the thief slashes Robert. There is so much blood. The thieves take his ring. 

He dies. Luke watches.

Later, Luke and three friends decide to hike through the woods in Sweden to honor Rob. There is blood, prayers to not-gods, nakedness, monsters, a coward. Luke, the coward, who hid to save himself while Rob died.

Only Luke makes it out of the forest. He finds himself in a field, the monster behind him, unable to move past the tree-line. The monster bellows. Luke screams, wails. It is a hard sound to sort out, but it's grief and it's anger and it's shame and it's what I sounded like, crying all those months.

Like this. 

***

I don't wonder about what comes after death anymore. At times in my life, I've sought out the reaper and other times, he's turned his face toward me and walked away. We'll meet someday and I hope he will be silent. 

yours, elis

***

Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash

[zerablackwell]

Chapter 1: Crashing Reality Part 2

Awaking with a start, Zera covered her mouth to muffle her scream. Then she took a moment to try to calm herself, successfully doing so. Realizing she had been crying, Zera wiped her eyes with shaky hands. Her mind was foggy, disoriented, Zera looked from herself to her surroundings to find that she was in the same clothes from classes today and in confusion she looked around to see where she was.

Zera was in her room, she took a pained deep breath, her lungs feeling like they were on fire. Slowly regaining her composure, she took in the comfort of being in her own home. The white walls of her room reflected the sunset shining in through her large windows, her silver sheets slightly messy from her tossing and turning. She tried to think back to her nightmare but could not recall it for the life of her. The only thing that came to mind was amber eyes.

Shaking her head, she focused on her surroundings. Zera sensed her best friend's presence as well as Elijah's. However, she noticed there was someone else in the house, Zera dragged herself out of bed, smoothing out her school uniform. She then walked to the stairs; halfway down she could hear Azazel blowing up on, Zera assumed, his younger brother.

"You irresponsible, annoying little pest!" Azazel screeched at Seth, Zera quietly walked down the stairs, stopping at the door frame of the room. Carefully she peaked in, the supposed adults too busy arguing to notice her snooping. Just as Zera peered in, Azazel had punched Seth square in the jaw, throwing the younger on the floor who then spit out blood.

"Are you done?" Seth hissed angrily, eyes flashing crimson.

Azazel growled and pulled on his jacket to smooth it out, "Now. I am done." His lavender eyes were once again that ice cold blue.

"Good." Seth stood as he wiped the blood from his mouth, "She has a right to know, she isn't a child anymore Azazel." Seth then picked himself up, only a couple inches shorter than his older brother.

"She is my daughter and I will decide when and if she needs to know anything about those-those-" Azazel growled and took a deep breath. "Seth, I am trying very hard to keep my calm."

"She is my niece, and she wants to know everything you are hiding from her. I see it every day, she's constantly distracted, and I've been watching how she behaves towards others."

"Yes, I can see how she speaks to Elijah. We are working on that, but she is none of your concern."

Family is my concern Azazel, you can't keep shutting me out." Seth pleaded, "I just want her to know who she is, where she comes from! She deserves to know!"

"You're playing the same tune Seth, it's getting old. You don't care, you only care about yourself, not the well-being of others. Even if you did, you are only her uncle, I am her father. Her welfare is my responsibility not yours." After this, Azazel began to speak in a foreign tongue, one Zera did not recognize.

They continued to argue in this strange language she had never heard before, and Zera let it continue for a good several minutes before she had enough. Zera walked in and stayed in the doorway, "Father, Seth."

"Zera, you should not be up and about, you need to rest." Azazel huffed as he walked to his daughter who did not budge from the doorway.

"I feel fine, what language was that you were speaking in?" She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning on the door frame.

"Don't fret," Azazel began, but Seth continued.

"Your family's native tongue, the language of angels, it is called Veraiyaka."

She stared blankly at the two, "Why do you know it? You were born a demon, weren't you?" Zera directly asked Seth who merely chuckled.

"I was, but the demon's language wasn't used in heaven. I only ever knew my father's language, I never truly knew my mother's heritage." Seth explained patiently, a hint of delight in his eyes.

Zera nodded slightly, "So they tried to erase your heritage?"

Azazel snickered and hid his mouth with his hand while Seth stayed quiet, a frown growing on his face. He stuttered before clearing his throat to answer, "N-no, no they didn't. Father just..." Seth's voice trailed off, uncertainty in his eyes as the gears seemed to turn in his mind.

"Father just what little brother?" Azazel pressed, smirking deviously. "Why was it that you only knew Veraiyaka? Why you never met Lilith? Why was I the one who had to teach you Raiwadahkre? Or even how to tame your hunger?"

Seth visibly tensed up, "Father was always busy Azazel, you know this. Besides, none of them were familiar with the demons' culture."

"You have always made excuses for him, for the love of- just open your damn eyes Seth!" Azazel snapped, throwing his hands in the air, exasperated.

The green-eyed male began to tear up, clearly trying to calm himself. Zera found the whole interaction between the brothers' confusion and irritating. Azazel wasn't letting up on his little brother, and Seth was just an emotional wreck waiting to explode. She wasn't sure how to keep his walls from crumbling and didn't know how to diffuse the situation. Zera was more comfortable escalating but didn't want to deal with the consequences of doing so.

"Azazel..." Seth's voice was soft and wavered a touch, "Brother, why do you do this? I just want us all together. To put the past behind and start fresh... What is so wrong about doing that"

Azazel's face was void of expression as he spoke in a calm and even tone, "My wife is dead." His eyes turning from lavender to ice cold blue, at this Seth had frozen up. "Mrai sharaiz pehtekwarya Seth."

"May I remind you both that I do not speak that gibberish." Zera chimed in, tapping her foot on the ground impatiently.

Seth cleared his throat, looking from Zera to Azazel, "Should I translate or you?"

Azazel hissed at Seth, "I merely told him I protect my own."

"How truthful was he being there?" Zera asked her uncle who seemed pleased by his answer.

"For the most part, accurate translation."

Zera watched them for a long while before she was satisfied, "Fine, now why don't we keep to English? I'd prefer you to be straightforward. If you hide things from me, I promise I will find out the truth."

"There is nothing to discuss Zera." Azazel shook his head, his lavender eyes showing now tired he was. It was a strange sight for Zera, seeing her father this vulnerable. "Seth was just on his way out, right little brother?"

Seth stared at Azazel for a long while, when Zera was about to say something he spoke up, "No. I'm not leaving, I want to talk, I want to just work things out."

The older male glared, "I'm not talking anymore." With that in Azazel's place was Elijah.

Elijah took his jacket off and set it down on the couch, glaring at his alter's brother. "Seth."

"Bro-"

"I. Am not your brother Seth, Azazel is. Not me." He pointed a finger at Seth, "Now, Azazel does not want you here. Zera is not ready to hear whatever it is you have to say, respect her father's wishes."

"I don't believe you are the one to determine that Elijah." Zera hissed at her guardian, who took a step back. "Not you and not Father. The both of you are withholding information from me, cheating me out of my humanity."

Elijah tensed, Seth stared at them in disbelief, "I'm sorry, they what?"

"I made a deal with Father and Elijah to help me get revenge on my adoptive father and figure out my origins." Zera explained, her eyes never leaving Elijah. "Supposedly, the contract was completed long ago. However, with everything you've informed me with now it appears that I have been deceived. Although, what should I have expected from a pair of demons?"

"So Azazel and Elijah..." He turned to the white-haired male. "You two took her humanity?" Seth's shoulders slumped, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I don't believe that is your place." Elijah huffed, visibly uneasy.

"I'm really wondering what kind of parenting you are doing, I can not believe you!" Seth screeched, he looked at Zera, then back at Elijah. "What would Marnie think of this?"

"She doesn't agree either, but it's all done. Nothing changes what has passed. However, we can attempt to amend those mistakes by telling me the information that I am due." Zera snarled at Elijah.

"Okay we need a breather, need to take a break." Seth stood between the two, he looked at Elijah. "You and Azazel need to stop and look at this whole mess." He then looked at Zera, "You need to think about the way you go about things."

"We are done here, really. Seth. Leave." Elijah demanded, for the first time, Elijah seemed visibly shaken.

"I'll leave, as soon as you two take some time to cool down. Elijah you have to see that this is not healthy and not good for any of you." Seth put a hand on Elijah's shoulder, Zera watched as for the first time Elijah looked completely helpless. It was an unnerving sight, one she did not like. "Elijah really look at this, look where you guys are. Marnie never wanted this, she never wanted you and Azazel to do all this."

Elijah glared, "Don't. Don't use her name. Do not dare. You have no right to use her name."

"Elijah, you're overreacting, Mother is dead, she has been for over a hundred years. It is long past time to move on." Zera huffed loudly, "Mother, I'm sure, is turning over in her grave listening to you both."

"Young lady, watch your tone." Elijah was shaking.

"She was human, humans die. They live short lives, she was going to die no matter what." Zera snapped, "Why are you lashing out at him for talking about her?"

"She is dead because of them!" Elijah began to raise his voice, then covered his mouth.

"What do you mean?" Zera eyed him closely, growling. "John told me she died from giving birth to me, if there is anyone you should blame for her death it is me. Just as John did. Unless there is something you are not telling me."

Seth was at a loss for words, before he could say anything Elijah spat in Raiwadahkre, "Karwajeh chesah ena, tahkreth chesah cha."

"Rai jehkar Elijah." Seth sneered, causing Zera to almost explode.

"What is he lying about then? How did she die?" She screamed at them.

Elijah shook his head, "No." He stood his ground, though Zera could see just one push and he could topple, "Seth...I am begging you..." His eyes watered even as he tried to keep his expression firm, "I am begging you to leave."

There was a long pause between the three parties, a long time passed before Seth broke the silence. "Fine, I'll go. I'll leave for now, but I will not give up on this family." He turned and faced Zera, "I'll see you in school, and I do expect you to do the homework, no excuses."

Before Zera could respond, Seth vanished and she groaned loudly, "I hate

"Zera..." Elijah began, but his voice trailed off.

"Elijah, for the time being, I want nothing to do with you or with Father." She then turned and walked off, leaving Elijah in stunned silence.

Zera made her way over to the backyard, closing the door behind her. She took a deep breath and sat down on the stone steps.

Birds sang in the trees at the edge of the yard, the breeze was light and warm. Sun beamed down on Zera's pale skin and she closed her eyes, taking in the surroundings. With each deep breath, Zera could feel the overwhelming negative emotions slowly subside. The peace did not last long, her thoughts found their way back to Elijah and her father's betrayal. Growling, shadows began to surround her, and a familiar voice chimed in her ear, "Child, if you dwell on this, you'll give them power. Clear you mind in order to keep your eye on the prize."

Looking around, Zera did not see who the voice belonged to, "Who was that?"

"I'm hurt, you've forgotten me already? When you come to me for assistance in finding the truth behind your father's web of lies?" Listening to the disembodied voice, Zera felt a sense of relief overcome.

It seemed like a light bulb went off in Zera, "Luz."

"Correct." He cooed, and it felt like he was practically breathing against her ear, "You did so well with your father and your uncle."

"It wasn't enough." She grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest, angrily glaring at the grass. The shadows once surrounding her began to recede back into her being and appeared to vanish from sight.

"Give yourself a little more credit, you gained quite a bit of information. Now you need to pull back just a touch, if you dig too deep too fast, then you will set yourself back ten steps." The voice acknowledged and reassured her, Zera let out an irritated sigh. "I understand how difficult it is to be patient, but you must wait. Bide your time then you can get a bigger payout little one."

Zera thought it over for a long moment, "Fine. What plan do you have Luz?"

"The goal is to get you the history that you have been denied, to retrieve the full story we must find Madeline. In order to find Madeline, we must get you into Heaven's record room. That may have hints towards her last known location, considering they do so love to keep tabs on everyone. Only one slight problem."

She sighed, "And pray tell what that problem might be?"

"We need to get you past Archangel Metatron, the scribe of Heaven. He will be guarding it closely; however, if we get past him, we can find the key to answering your mysterious family history."

Zera mulled this information over for a long while before nodding slowly, she had already killed an angel, how much more difficult would an archangel be? "Very well, how do we get into Heaven?"

[angstandhappiness]

OMG I didn't expect this kind of response thanks your thoughts always give me conflicting feelings

Hi again! Listen, if we indeed get the MK vs SWK fight you've been predicting, I want it to be CATHARTIC. I want both parties fighting to show the RAWEST, UGLIEST, MOST FUCKED UP parts of themselves to each other without holding back, and embrace those parts in one another wholeheartedly just as much at the end. And I don't want this fight to be at the end of the show, no, I want it to be inn the midle of the show run, not even just a few episodes spare afterwards but several seasons, to see them work on the ruined previous framework and build on it as a sturdier, more stable foundation, and I want to see it unfold and develop in the show. I want to see them fight together with that new bond against the big boss or whatever passes as it. I think what I'm trying to say is Eldritch!MK better not be the last boss, and that even in a fight with out-of-control MK, SWK still unconsciously holds back even if he doesn’t want to. Also for Wukong to show his OG power in its full glory at the end against the final boss who is hopefully not Eldritch MK. You may disagree with some of my points but we can agree to disagree. Eat fruits!

DUDE. YES.

In my mind I've never thought of Eldritch!MK as the final big bad, legitimately. Which now I realize that's kinda silly, because the show could go that direction, but in my mind MK would be pushed further down a path of chaos by being manipulated by our new antagonist. This isn't something he would want ("This isn't what I wanted!" for the sweet sweet Azure parallel), but something he'd be pushed into—whether through manipulation, or past memories, or some reveal or WHATEVER it is that pushes him to the brink.

Ultimately however, MK has to eventually defy his fate and use his powers to leave the world "better than he found it"—he has to come to terms with the fact that he'll hurt people, and people will hurt him, and that's how life works. He ultimately has to accept himself. Being the "final boss" of the show would leave very little time for MK to truly learn to love himself and learn who he truly is, which is why I think it probably won't happen. Maybe he'd be the final boss of a season—but certainly not the show as a whole.

But a cathartic and messy Wukong and MK fight? That's something I am hoping we get, and think we definitely have the potential to get! Here's a short list of people who have chewed Wukong out thus far:

Mei (3x10)

Macaque (4x11)

Curse MK (4x07)

Azure (4x13)

Pigsy (2x10)

Ne Zha (3x01, 3x10)

Now, with how often it's brought up the ways in which Wukong has failed MK...don't you think MK should have a turn here? MK gets close in 2x07, but there he's yelling at Macaque disguised as Wukong, so obviously that doesn't count. We are long overdue for MK himself laying out all of the hurt and anger he's been holding onto for 4 seasons—that itself needs to happen, whether it's through a physical fight or not.

And after finally, EVERYTHING is out in the open, they can build their relationship stronger than it was before. I, like you, really do hope Wukong and MK (or even MK and Mei tbh) fight together against our last big bad. Honestly watching them fight together in 4x13 was so fulfilling, seeing them bounce off one another and work together just like MK always wanted.

However, I am also ready for them to tear each other apart (MK for SWK literally, but SWK for MK probably metaphorically lol) and then build each other back up, both of them fully accepting each other, flaws and all. Just because you love each other doesn't mean you won't hurt one another, you know? Just because you love someone doesn't mean they're not flawed. And in some ways, I think both Sun Wukong and MK need to accept that fact about each other. Like, this confrontation needs to be MESSY and RAW, and I think a climatic anime battle is a great way to do that (4x13 MK V Azure fight proving my point perfectly, or honestly even something like Samadhi Fire Mei in 3x10).

But those are just my thoughts!